Well maybe
it was about time I started writing in English.
This space
is supposed to be about my everyday life. The big things, the small ones, the
insignificant tiny memorable moments… I´ve been living and breathing in English
for the past 18 months, but it never occurred to me that this was actually my everyday life.
Now I have
my past across the water and my future somewhere where I still can´t get. I am
stuck in TODAY.
This hot
summer day – since when summer happens in July? This is not normal, this is not
just any other July day…
This music
that I am listening to right now – hold on, why am I the only one who knows the
words for this song?
The skin
falling off my legs as if I´ve spent the whole month riding my horse and
swimming in a lake… oh no… wait a minute…
How did I
end up calling this my normal life if still, every zip of coffee I take tastes
so different? I cannot call this life an ordinary life, because for the past 18
months my life has been absolutely extraordinary.
That is
why.
That is why
my small, plain, unnecessary thoughts come in my mother tongue. Like fear. Like
when I cry.
My drams
have the language of dreams. The smell of love. The taste of green tea. You don´t need to talk when you are asleep.
The steps I
take trying to reach whatever is behind the curtain that says NEXT sound like determination sounds –
however it sounds. De Ter Mi Na Tion sounds like a hammer banging on the same
old nail of time.
Maybe one
day this would be as normal as those things that I´ve left behind. Water would
just be water and not how British water tastes. A rose is still a rose…
Although,
to be fair, who doesn´t want an extraordinary
everyday life?
